37% of Couples Feel Stressed When Discussing Finances

Financial stability is an important part of a successful relationship. When bills go unpaid or debt accumulates, it can cause psychological stress and build resentment among partners.

To better understand the current state of financial compatibility between partners, we surveyed 738 married individuals about their feelings about discussing finances with their partners, how often they argue about money and more.

When married respondents were asked whether they agreed that they were financially compatible with their partner, about 16% of respondents either disagreed or strongly disagreed — indicating perceived financial incompatibility. In contrast, 66% of respondents agreed or strongly agreed, while around 17% reported to neither agree nor disagree.

A trend that was consistent through our survey was that those with higher household incomes were more likely to agree that they were financially compatible with their partners.

While about 40% of those surveyed with incomes between $10,000 and $24,999 agreed or strongly agreed that they were financially compatible, about 75% of those making $100,000 or more reported the same thing — indicating a 35% increase in perceived financial compatibility.

Interestingly, young adults were the most likely to report feeling comfortable discussing finances with their partners — with 45% reporting that was the case.  In contrast, those ages 45-60 were the most likely to feel angry (11.63%) and stressed (48.26%) about discussing finances with their partners.

While stressing about finances peaks between 40 and 60, stress rates sharply decrease as Americans reach retirement age. Only about 26% of respondents ages 60 and up were stressed about discussing finances with their partner — meaning they’re 10% less likely to feel stressed compared to the average adult.. 

This trend of the youngest and oldest generations being the most financially stress-free matches data about average credit card debt rates by generation. People ages 18-23, and 75 and older had the least credit card debt, with debt peaking at middle age, around 40-55.

When surveyed about what type of financial infidelity would be the most hurtful, about 25% of couples said that gambling in secret was their number one financial deal-breaker. Other couples thought it would be most hurtful if their partner made a large purchase without discussion (15.80%), hid money (13.74%) or spent more than their household budget (11.40%).

About 17% of respondents were most hurt by the idea of their partner making large purchases without discussion. In comparison, only 3% said they’d be most hurt by their partner investing without discussion.

When we surveyed the rate at which married couples argue about finances, about 27% of couples reported arguing once a month. About 18% reported arguing semiannually, 9.2% weekly and 3.57% daily.

On the other hand, one in five couples reports they never argue about finances at all.

When we asked married couples what they argued about most, budget and debts were the most common discussion topics. About 21% of respondents argued about budgeting most, 10% argued about investments, 14% about debt and 13% about bills.

If you’re one of the 37% of couples that feels stressed discussing money with their partner, it could be a signal that you need to improve the way you and your partner manage and communicate about money.

The more you communicate with your partner about money, the easier it will be for you to create and track financial goals. If you don’t already, it could also be a good idea to pool together finances, since recent research suggests that doing so can increase relationship satisfaction.

As you near retirement, discussing finances with your partner and developing positive money management habits becomes more important. Check out our retirement planning page for a full guide on setting yourself up for a financially stable retirement.

The survey of 738 adults aged 18+ was conducted via SurveyMonkey for RetireGuide on March 31, 2023. Data is unweighted, and the margin of error is approximately +/-5% for the overall sample.